$1,032,150,000 US Dollars and counting.
That’s how much money I’ve turned down since February 2005. I know that the various widows, bank managers, bureaucrats, and others who have contacted me did so confident that I would be able to help them move these funds out of their various troubled african nations of residence. I know that each one represents a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (except for those that got sent to me at two different email addresses), but I’m holding out for the perfect combination of incredible wealth, political intrigue, and convoluted grammar. Anything worth having is worth waiting for, right?